You have FEMA's number on speed dial.
You have more than 300 'C' & 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.
Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O's.
You're thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths & one safe hallway.
Your Social Security number isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
You have 2-liter coke bottles & milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the National Hurricane Center.
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
Your child's first words are "hunker down."
Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm & the "bad side."
You go to work early & stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning